5 Ways to Make Your Family Session FUN (Not Miserable)

At this point in my career, I've seen families enjoy their portrait sessions IMMENSELY to the point where their kiddos leave asking "when are we doing this again?" while begging their parents to stay just a few more minutes, filled with laughter and joy.

I've also seen sessions where the kids are screaming, kicking, crying and miserable while parents struggle to put a smile on their face and keep their kids "under control"...

Most don't realize that the difference between these two families begins WEEKS before their portrait session actually takes place. Laying the best groundwork for your family portraits includes a few vital details that most people glance by. Here's where to start....

1. Choose the right location & vibe

2. Look for unique art, NOT the same cookie-cutter poses

3. Stay picky about your timing

4. Invest in your PEACE

5. Be SELECTIVE about the photographer you choose!

Ready? Let's dive in...

Choose the Right Location

Look - we all love the light-filled portraits in a field or on the beach. They're stunning! However your options are much more extensive, many of which will likely set a better tone for you and your kiddos.

When you bring your kid (or kids) to a field or a beach, the level of novelty and excitement of a new spot they haven't been to can turn overwhelming. They want to explore and play, and you're asking them to stand still and stare and smile at this weird black box with buttons they want to push and a stranger they may have never met before! No wonder they melt down.

When you're planning your portrait session with me, I'm always down to take your family portraits at a beach or field with certain guidelines and expectations (which I'll get into later). HOWEVER, I always encourage families to explore locations they may not have considered. In-home family sessions, for example, give your kid the time and space to feel fully comfortable and at ease in their new routine.

If your kids love going to the park with you on Thursdays, let's take portraits there!

Maybe your family loves movies and pizza Saturday night. What if I came over and captured that with you?

The "aesthetic" locations are lovely. But the spots that your family spends time in A) have sentimental value for you, and B) often photograph far more BEAUTIFULLY than you might imagine (especially when you pick the right photographer).

When you're considering portrait locations, think about how your kids nervous system will respond.

Look for unique art, NOT the same cookie-cutter poses

Want to know when I see the most meltdowns during a session? When the parents expect their gallery to be full of posed, perfect images of their family.

I completely get it - you want to have some presentable, lovely portraits sharing your family at their best!

While I can practically guarantee we can create a few images like that for each of my families as any good photographer can, expecting your entire gallery to look that way is setting yourself up for disaster (and frankly, creates some CRAZY boring heirlooms for your family). No kiddo wants to spend their entire session in the same stiff pose and forced smile!

As you're preparing for your session and thinking about the artwork you want to walk away with, think more about EMOTIONS and QUIRKS you'd love to have captured. Consider dynamics you'd like to have between siblings. Think about the feel you want, because THAT'S the art that your family will treasure. THAT'S the art your family will open together in an old photo album, and feel all the sensations and emotion of those moments rushing back as their soul warms a little.

Long story short, your standard should be creating art that TRULY reflects your beautifully unique family AS THEY ARE. Not forced images.

The moment you hold that expectation, your family is free to be themselves and relax into their own personalities.

Stay picky about your timing

I'll keep this one short and sweet - you know your family best! If your photographer will ONLY consider golden hour and you know your kids bed-time is going to make that a living nightmare, either get a different photographer, or hold your ground on timing. Happy kiddos are better in a different lighting situation is TEN TIMES better than miserable kiddos in "perfect" light.

Side note, if your photographer can't handle different lighting situations, they're not a good option for you.

Invest in your PEACE

It's all too easy to rush into your family sessions feeling stressed and tired - I FULLY get it. You're wrangling kiddos, begging your 7 year old to put on socks, trying to get your hair done and bartering with child number 3 to wear the outfit you picked. No wonder so many moms rush into portrait sessions feeling stressed!

Here's where the families who enjoy their sessions get it right ...

I've seen in-home family sessions have a cleaning service come over the day before, so they don't have to worry about rushing through and cleaning their home 10 minutes before portrait time. (SIDE NOTE: This makes for a GREAT Mother's Day gift, think about combining a cleaning service with in-home family portraits). I've also seen parents make the intentional choice NOT to worry about their mess, and photograph their lives AS IS.

I've seen moms treat themselves to professional hair and makeup session a few hours before their portraits, I've seen parents invite in-laws over to help get the family ready without feeling they had to rush through preparing.

I've seen parents choose to bring the outfit their kid wants to wear and ask if we can take pictures in Elsa and Batman costumes for the last 5 minutes of their sessions - which turn out ABSOLUTELY adorable!

When you're preparing for your session, make the choice to INVEST in your peace. Whether that's financial, getting creative, or trying out some portraits that your kids are excited about (even if you aren't).

Be SELECTIVE about the photographer you choose!

This one is VITAL for setting the right tone for your family portraits. Choosing the right photographer can make or break the tone of your family portraits!

Start by establishing what you want. If you've read through this, for example, and still want the majority of your gallery to be posed, then I'm not your photographer! While I can pose your family, I firmly believe in the artful nature of portraits that rely on your family's individual, authentic nature. Start by figuring out what you want! Candid, formal, silly or posed - once you have that down, you can find the right photographer for you!

If you're looking for someone who specializes in candid, unforced portraiture (like me), look for someone who knows how to create a child-led portrait session. Lot's of photographers use different terminology for this - however at the end of the day, they all look similar. Photographers who create strong candids know how to GUIDE your child into authentic poses using prompts, discerning how they're feeling and where their boundaries are, and being willing to move off of a pose that simply isn't working.

Here's what you should look for in WHATEVER photograph you choose...

Find a photographer who knows how to handle different lighting situations. As beautiful as golden hour is, that might not be what works best for your family. And frankly, golden hour isn't the only time of day that yields STUNNING imagery.

Find a photographer you think your kids will feel COMFORTABLE with. Enough said - you have my full permission to stalk a photographer on Instagram to find out what they're look and veto them simply based off personality / whether you think they'll vibe with your family (myself included)!

Find a photographer who photographs locations BEAUTIFULLY, regardless of whether or not they're traditionally "aesthetic". If you're looking for unique portraiture, or want an in-home family session, this is especially invaluable!